


Diaper Misadventure

by Banner4Hetalia



Series: Deadpool's Many Moments [4]
Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Babies, Loki is a sassy mama, M/M, Peter needs to be quicker, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 18:37:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18878926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Banner4Hetalia/pseuds/Banner4Hetalia
Summary: Wade and Peter try to change diapers, it ends as well as you think it does or maybe not





	Diaper Misadventure

It was finally time for our favorite couple to learn the most essential lesson in caring for a baby, changing it's diaper. However since neither of them had something to practice on, they were kinda screwed.

“Well we would if the author didn't keep me eight months pregnant forever.” Keep it up Wade and I'll leave you like that. “Oh, it's gonna be like that now?” Wade would have continued to threaten me until Peter's phone rang.

After a couple of minutes Peter hung up. “Hey Wade, guess what. That was Uncle Bruce, him and his husband Loki invited us over to their place and even better news hon.”

“They have chimichangas?”

“Wade no, they have 5 month old twins we can practice our parenting skills on.”

  
“Well isn't that convenient? Well played author.”

**~Time skip~**

Both Peter and Wade arrived at Bruce and Loki's new mansion in WestChester, New York, because Loki has taste y'all.

“We have found it Peter, we have found Jesus' house.”

“Wade, Jesus does not live here.”

“He might as well, he's the only one that can afford these prices.”

As they walked in, they were greeted by Bruce. “Glad you guys were able to come. It's been hectic with us finally moving in here.”

“We're happy to come and see both of you, wait, where's Aunt Loki?”

Bruce just sighed and motioned to the top of the stairs, where Loki was posing wearing a long green kimono style gown. He slowly walked down the stairs for reasons unknown. “Good afternoon Peter.” Loki looked over at Wade who wearing just a tank top with a mustard stain, yoga pants and Ugg boots. “I hoped you wiped your feet before coming into my house.”

“Nope. Hey baby boy, can I get one of those things that your aunt is wearing? Ooh can I get a muumuu? With cheeseburgers on it?”

Peter sighed and just nodded.

Wade grinned and headed in the living room where the twins were laying in those little swinging rockers things. “Well someone clearly knows her stuff.”

By this time Peter, Bruce and Loki came in to hear Wade's ramblings.

“Does he always do this?”

“Sadly yes.”

“Joyful our offspring are going to be infected by him Bruce.”

“Loki, please, you said you would play nice.”

“This is me playing nice Bruce.”

Wade was ignoring them and looked at both of the kids, who were wearing a blue and green onesies. “So who are these guys?”

Bruce looked down fondly at his children. “Their names are Sal and Roe.”

Wade picked up Roe, “Look Peter, It's Roe vs. Wade!”

“I'm surprised you know what that is Wade.”

“So who names their kids Roe and Sal anyway?”

Loki approached Wade and gently pulled Roe out of his arms. “Their actually names are Rowena and Salazar.”

“I knew you could name your kids after fictional characters!” Wade looked at Peter expectantly.

“No we are not naming our kid Optimus Prime.”

“What about-”

“No we aren't naming them Bumblebee either.”

To be fair those aren't the worse names for you kid.

Bruce quickly decided to change the conversation. “Well we actually decided to invite you both over because we figured you could get some practice in before the big day.” He picked up Sal and handed him to Peter, while retrieving Roe and handing her back to Wade.

Loki handed Peter everything he would need. “Remember Peter, be quick when changing his diaper or else.”

  
“Uhhh, I'll try.”

“Remember to cup it.”

“This week of the lifestyle of the rich and famous, we will be powdering the butts of Rowena and Salazar Banner.” Wade leaned over to Peter, “Hey Petey, ten bucks these diapers cost more than my life.”

“Those diapers obviously do and that's after they've been used.”Whoa, I'm writing this and even I thought that was a little harsh.

Wade was surprising actually doing this with little to no problems. Peter on the other hand.

“Please stop squirming Sal, I'm just trying to- SWEET MOTHER OF S-!” Peter tried to keep Salazar still and in by doing so, was using both of his hands. Those of you with little boys know you need to work quick or else. Poor, poor Peter. He got it right in the eye.

Loki leaned over to Peter, “This is why you cup the penis Peter.”

“Hey I've been tell him that for years now.”

“Wade!”

Poor Peter. Well at least he learned a very valuable lesson folks. Never take your sweet time in changing a baby.

"You tell them author!"


End file.
